Transformers: Age of Extinction Review

I enjoyed the first Transformers film. It’s mix of action, sense of discovery, and a good Linkin Park song made it a decent watch. It was great to see the Robots in Disguise up on the big screen.

Revenge of the Fallen on the other hand was a waste of a midnight showing. A big old smelly pair of wrecking balls.

For the third film there was talk of lessons being learned. So I ponied up again.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. I said I’d never go back unless they “did something awesome like introduce the Dinobots”.

So what did they go and do? They said there’d be Dinobots! The bastards. They knew what would get me back. I wont deny there was a strong temptation to give them more of my money though.

Fortunately seeing a Dinobot for the first time helped. A travesty. That was definitely not Grimlock getting bitch slapped by Optimus Prime.

Months after release, I’ve seen it. They got no money out me! Yet I still felt let down. I couldn’t even muster the expected anger. This might be a new trilogy with new characters but it’s full of the same mistakes.

It’s ridiculous that Mark Wahlberg, as an inventor, is the most likeable character in this film. He’s the only human I even remotely cared about. His daughter and her boyfriend however are completely forgettable. I can’t even remember their names.

The rest of the cast don’t do anything wrong really. They just exist. Apart from, Stanley Tucci, who at least seems to understand what kind of film he’s in.

It’s not long until we see the Transformers, with a pretty brutal execution of one of the heroes from the first trilogy. When it comes time to see Optimus he’s a much darker chap. Though I understood this jarring new attitude I always look to him expecting “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings” and not “I’ll kill you all!”. The other Autobots seem pretty jaded too and need some convincing to do the right thing.

Hm. The Dinobots. These are not Dinobots. For one of the most well known and beloved groups of Transformers it’s just not good enough. The way the characters are set up (barely) and used (easy fix), they could have been anyone. Such a waste.

Beneath a shiny veneer is a mess of a film that treats none of its characters with respect.