Swordfish Review

Could this film BE more 2001?

Future generations will always be able to quickly and easily pinpoint the era Swordfish was released. From the frosted tips to the Nokias being used, this film is very much a product of its time.

If I could meet anyone involved in it I’d only have question – Were you serious about this? Or did you know it was nonsense?

Because Swordfish is complete nonsense. Sometimes amazingly so. Most of the time though it’s just a bit crap.

I think this is because the film doesn’t decide which tone it wants to take. It may look like someone popped a bluey/orange filter over everything like a music video, and it’s not averse to some slo-mo. But it’s got a layer of sleazy, pervy, voyerism to it all. For instance, Halle Berry did not need to be topless. There’s no point to it bar titillation and headlines. I couldn’t help but baulk at it’s more sincere moments when it was so willing to go to the lowest common denominator.

It’s also completely free of consequences. Perhaps they need to balance out the amount of monitors?

On the flip side, the TVR Tuscan is extremely cool.

Bar the car, there is one part of this film that is particularly noteworthy, and I’m not talking about John Travolta’s wig. No, I’m talking about Hugh Jackman’s Stan creating the ‘Hydra’, which is one of the most hilarious ‘hacking’ scenes ever committed to film.

When trying to describe that scene I realised that it sums up the entire film – Looking cool was far more important than anything making sense.

There’s no point trying to explain it. Seven monitors and two keyboards does not a hacker make. It’s literal minutes of Stan shouting “yes yes yes” and “no no no” as he hammers keyboards and no doubt gives himself all kinds of neck problems.

It almost loops round into being awesome. But unless you’re a teenager, and born at the time, it’s just going to look naff. The TVR is the only piece of this film you wouldn’t tamper with. Maybe you just want to see a cool car and some boobs? Even then there are better options.

Swordfish is a very silly film indeed.