Completing a trilogy of diminishing returns, The Last Dance manages to make its predecessors look practically Oscar-worthy. Its slapdash approach to…well anything…I can only describe as story adjacent.
It just doesn’t make any sense, feeling more like a series of awful skits pasted together. Anything remotely cool or interesting you’ve already in the trailer. Characters either appear out of nowhere, or stick around way longer than they should. Suddenly shoving in new story points to open things up makes whatever rules this trilogy had incoherent too. Weren’t the symbiotes originally looking for planets to take over? Wasn’t Venom a loser/runt? I guess not now! There is nothing natural about how the story develops.
An even sweatier and dishevelled than usual Tom Hardy is wasted stumbling around chatting to himself. There isn’t half as much actual Venom time as you’d expect, and when he does appear it makes no sense within the context of the story. Exposition dumps that resemble early 2000s Blizzard cutscenes are very clunky ways to deliver info that I doubt anyone cares about.
I can imagine the people behind this being terrified that if they didn’t throw something at us every ten minutes, regardless of it making sense or having any emotional heft, we’d realise that what we’re watching is tat. *Jingles keys*. Look at the keys! Don’t think!
Alas, the amount of shit thrown at the wall that is Venom: The Last Dance does nothing to stop the mind wandering. It’s amazing that we have an entire Venom trilogy. Unfortunately, Sony wasted a surprisingly strong opening and let it finish with a whimper.
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