100 Word Review – Battleship

“I’d rather watch Transformers 3”

That one quote from my wife sums it up. But let us briefly shine a light on why she’d rather watch that turd than Battleship. Is it the painful dialogue? Meaningless story threads? Nonthreatening aliens? Risible performances? It is all of these things. But then I think of two more.

1. How can you make a film with battleships and aliens boring?

2. How can a film called ‘Battleship’, based on the game ‘Battleship’, have so little in common with the game bar one tragic three minute scene?
I actually felt the need to apologise for putting it on.
Save yourself two hours. Skip this.

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